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From Where I Stand: The Diddy Trial


Like many, I was shocked to read the verdict in the Diddy/Sean Combs case, and my heart aches for those victimized who bravely came forward. I understand this was not the outcome they hoped for, and that hurts.


I also want to be clear — I am not involved with this case in any way, shape, or form. I am not in any way alleging that the verdict was wrong.


I do want to address some of the comments I saw attributed to his legal team, and the larger rhetoric I often hear in these types of legal proceedings.


The defence referred to Cassie Ventura, the lead witness, as a “winner” in this outcome. Let’s be clear — there is no winner. There is nothing that can undo what happened to her, or money that can undo the trauma. She has to heal, and find a closure that works for her. I hope she finds it.


The whole “she/he is only in it for money and fame” argument is incredibly harmful, not to mention ridiculous. There is no cachet to being a rape victim. There is no financial windfall to being sexually assaulted.


The “record-breaking class action” for military sexual trauma survivors gave me $55,000. For being raped multiple times, for my CPTSD, for losing my career.

I had a legacy report that I made result in an arrest and charges, but the Crown decided to withdraw it just before it got to court. I was not shocked by this — I knew it was a steep uphill battle in any sexual assault case, but in a charge from 30 years ago, with no physical evidence, it would be next to impossible.


I was later asked, “What was the point then? Nothing happened!”


But something did happen.


The man in that case had strategized and created a situation where I would be alone, likely inebriated, and vulnerable. I thought about it every day. It impacted everything about me. I am not the mom, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, officer, or woman I would have been if our paths did not cross. When I was separating from my former spouse, this was the incident that he referred to when he said to me, “I wish you would have told me you were raped. I never would have married you if I knew you were broken.”


Still, I can guarantee that he barely, if ever, thought of me at all. He likely did not remember my name, or much about me.


Until.


Until he was arrested and charged with sexual assault and unlawful containment. He had to hire a lawyer. He had to explain to family. No doubt word got around about it. I bet he thought of me then.


And that is something that gives me a sense of closure.


What happened to me mattered.


That is what we all want. What happened to us was not okay. It is not about money. (Although sometimes that is the only way to push change.)


It was not okay.

It mattered.

Cassie Ventura matters.

Virginia Giuffre matters.

Gisele Pelicot matters.


We all matter.

 
 
 

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