In Their Own Words: A Team Member's Pride Journey

When I look at my journey through self-discovery, I find it quite interesting to reflect on the things that caused me to think, “Maybe I’m different.”

I grew up primarily watching straight relationships on television. There wasn’t much representation of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community at the time, especially in children’s television. The first time I questioned my sexuality was while watching Wizards of Waverly Place. I remember thinking that Selena Gomez was beautiful and gave me the same feelings that my number one crush at the time, Ross Lynch, gave me. I remember realizing that even

though one of them was a boy and one was a girl, I felt the same way about both of them.

I remember reading about bisexuality and thinking that it made sense for how I was feeling at the time. After sitting with that discovery for quite a while, I met a girl in middle school who would end up becoming my first girlfriend.

That was also the time I chose to come out to my parents, since I wanted them to meet her. My mom was supportive and told me that nothing would change the love she felt for me.

My father, on the other hand, had some issues with it. I remember his immediate reaction was, “I can’t believe I have a f****t as a kid,” and he left it at that. After that, I knew I could never talk to my father about it again. Seeing how supportive my mom was, I decided to come out to my grandma as well. Her immediate reaction wasn’t great, but it also wasn’t nearly as bad as my father’s. She said that I was too young to decide what my sexuality was.

Fast forward to the beginning of high school. I remember going to a library with my girlfriend at the time. We were walking around holding hands when the librarian came up to us and asked us to leave. When I asked why, she told us that we were making the children uncomfortable. That was my first experience with blatant homophobia.

During this time, I had started reading The Lord of the Rings, and I was in love with Legolas. I remember reading the books and being unsure at first what gender Legolas was. That uncertainty wasn’t helped by the movies, as they did a beautiful job of making Orlando Bloom look elvish. I remember thinking that no matter what gender this character ended up being, I would still be in love with them.

Around that same time, I started learning more about the 2SLGBTQIA+ community and discovered the term pansexual. That label felt like the perfect fit for me and reflected how I felt about the people in my life. We had just moved, and I was starting at a new school. While I was proud of my sexuality, I had already experienced homophobia more than once, so I decided to only tell my closest friends.

The guy I was dating at the time told me that it was impossible for me to be pansexual if I was dating a guy, which seems ridiculous now that I look back on it.

Around the age of 17, I also started to realize that the way I felt didn’t fully align with the female gender. At that time, I began using she/they pronouns.

After high school, I really started to feel comfortable in my own skin and realized that I was actually non-binary, although I am female-presenting most of the time. My pronouns became they/them. I no longer hide who I am, and I am proud to be part of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community.

I still experience homophobia, but it does not define who I am. I love myself, and the people in my life love me too, just as I am.